I feel sad when I remember how alone and frightened you were in this picture. No matter how hard you tried, nothing was working out. Your mother got sick when you were fourteen and died when you were twenty-one. You had no siblings. Your dad was a great man whom you adored, but he changed drastically and put his attentions on his new wife, nine months later. He was critical of all your choices and left you feeling like a failure. After many years passed, your relationship was fixed, but you had no way of knowing, at the moment the camera clicked here, things would eventually turn out all right.

 

     You married a wonderful young man – a Vietnam vet who served bravely and was wounded. When he started to have the problems caused by what we now call PTSD, you didn’t know what to do or how to help him. It was vital you keep on working as a secretary so he could finish school. That’s why you didn’t leave. Instead, you stayed up until the early morning hours, waiting for him to come home. Not only was drinking an issue but infidelity and mentally debilitating episodes caused by the war. You felt heartbroken and trapped, but you stayed. You earned two degrees by going to school at night. When he was completely on his feet, you began a new life in another state. You did not want to leave. You loved him and continued to love him for many years after. But you had to go.

 

     This picture was taken twelve years later, and you were completely alone. How you longed for love in your life, but you simply could not meet the right person. The other women around you were married, living in nice homes, having their children, enjoying the companionship of their husbands. You were making a decent living, but you could not afford to own anything except a car. Desperate, you had your neighbor snap some pictures of you that you planned to put into a dating magazine. That’s what we had in those days. No cell phones! You never actually published this picture. You were too shy.

 

     What I can tell you now, Janina, and all the young women who may be experiencing the same romantic desert is that you should never give up on finding love. You should not be afraid. You should trust in God that things will work out. And they did work out. Eventually, you joined a dating service and met the true love of your life. Your child-bearing years were over, but you led a dream life with your husband that lasted sixteen years before he passed away. You took care of him and were proud to do so. And that is real love.

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    To all of you: When you are old enough to look back on life, you may see how the tapestry was woven with tragedies that made you ready to assist others, love that taught you how to let go, and optimism that helped you go forward. God bless you, dear girls, and thank you for reading.